Healed In Jesus’ Name

Ethiopia: A season of sitting. A season of simplicity. A season of listening to God speak so many things. A season of Him revealing His goodness and favor. A season of healing and God doing something that I thought was impossible. 

So this is the story of Jehovah-Rapha; the Lord our Healer. 

About a week before my sophomore year of high school started, I got this really weird virus. I had a bunch of weird symptoms like sharp eye pain every time I would try and look any direction but straight ahead of me, body aches, weakness, fever, nausea and a few more that I can’t quite recall. The virus seemed really insignificant to me at the time. All I was consumed with was the fact that I was missing volleyball tryouts and I was worried I wouldn’t be on the team and be able to play that season. The virus only lasted about a week before it went away.  

Turns out the illness didn’t really end there though. I spent pretty much the entirety of my sophomore year feeling sick. I was constantly nauseous. I barely could eat anything without feeling sick. I was constantly in pain. Constant pain turned into also dealing with anxiety. It got to a point where I barely went anywhere unless it was absolutely necessary. I had the biggest fear of getting sick and not being in the comfort of my own home. 

At the end of my sophomore year I finally went to a specialist. I was given a diagnosis and was told that it was brought on by the virus I had at the beginning of the year. I learned that sometimes viruses can change the ways our bodies function and so when I got sick it impacted the way my body acted afterwards. Basically, my body stopped being able to digest certain things. I was told to try a new diet. I cut out gluten, dairy and certain fruits and vegetables. I went on a few different medicines to try and get the pain and nausea to go away. I was slowly able to add certain things back into my diet as time went on, but gluten was the one thing that remained on the do not eat list. 

So I’ve been eating gluten free ever since. With time, my constant stomach pain got better. Going on the Race I was of course a little concerned about my diet and health, but I truly believe that God gave me peace and told me that He is Jehovah-Jireh; the Lord who provides. I knew that I might be prone to more illness due to things I might accidentally eat, but I trusted that the Lord would take care of me. 

When I began the Race, I hadn’t had any gluten since the end of my sophomore year. I still wasn’t completely sure if gluten was the one thing that my body had decided to stop digesting and had been making me so sick, but I was told that it probably wasn’t a good idea to try and experiment with eating it before I left for the Race in September. So I continued eating gluten free during the Race.

I got sick 3 times while I lived in Siem Reap with my team (upon accidental ingestion of wheat). It was some of the worse stomach pain I have ever experienced. I had this horrible shooting pain in my side and the first time it happened I honestly thought that my appendix had burst or something. All I knew was that something was very wrong. I finally was able to figure out the pattern of getting sick and discovered what had been happening with the help of my team. From there, I was extra careful about what I ate. 

Fast forward to about two weeks ago here in Ethiopia. I was talking to one of our squad leaders, Ashley and she asked me if anyone had ever prayed healing over me. I paused for a second before answering her because I wasn’t really sure what she meant by that. I had never really believed that healing was possible for me. I know about the stories of healing in the Bible and had heard the stories of healing from my squad leaders’ time on the Race, but I never really thought that it was applicable to me. So Ashley prayed for me. She told me that I was already healed and to believe that, but to not be discouraged if healing didn’t immediately come to fruition. Jehova-Rapha; The Lord is healer. Sometimes that means instant healing and sometimes that means healing over time, as a process. 

It all came down to beginning to test the waters. I tried some food with gluten (intentionally this time) and got super sick, BUT the sharp pain that had been there when I ate gluten when I was in Cambodia was GONE. That afternoon I was laying in my bed and the Lord revealed to me that this thing that I wanted to be healed from was tied to more than just physical healing. There was more healing to be done emotionally and spiritually as well. He revealed that I actually have a lot of hurt and scars from things people used to say to me about my body. I had begun to believe that my worth was in looking a certain way. I never thought that I struggled with the way I viewed by body until God showed me. He revealed some other things too like anger and confusion I had towards Him when I had experienced so much physical pain during my sophomore year. So I’m beginning to let God heal the emotional and spiritual scars that had formed as this physical thing had also been taking place in my body. 

Healing is a process. God is a God of the journey. He is not trying to get something done and accomplish a goal. Yes He makes us promises, but most of the time He makes us promises so that He can go on the journey with us to get there. He loves us SO MUCH that He just desires to walk with us. 

When Ashley asked me if anyone had prayed healing over me, I thought of the kind of healing that happens in an instant. I didn’t really know much about healing as a process. But, I’m so glad that my healing wasn’t done in an instant. If it had happened that way, I never would have learned that there is more healing to be done in the emotional and spiritual parts of my life. God is a God of COMPLETE healing. If God wanted to get me to the immediate destination of healing, He could’ve. Instead He chose to show me His love and the way He wants to heal ALL of me. 

The underlying hurts and insecurities that I’ve faced are being healed. God is redeeming the way I view Him and the way I view myself. And every time I’ve eaten gluten in the last couple of weeks, my stomach pain has lessened each time.

God is doing something in my life that I never thought was possible. I’m so grateful for this journey that He has me on and that He loves me so much that He just wants to walk with me – through healing and all. 

I’m declaring that I’m healed even though it hasn’t come to complete fruition yet because He is Jehovah-Rapha; The Lord Our Healer.