Wow what a big statement. But also what a true statement. This might be a really long one, but there’s so many things that God did this year. So here it goes!
1.) God showed me what a supportive and Jesus chasing community looks like
God used my squad to change my life this year. I’ve written some things about them before on my blog, but I just really want to reiterate. These friends that I’ve been surrounded by for the last nine months are absolutely amazing. It’s been really crazy to watch the favor the Lord has for this squad unfold throughout our nine months on the field. We have such incredible and strong leadership both off and on the field that are constantly fighting for us and with us. But the atmosphere in our squad is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. And it actually happens to be pretty unusual for gap year squads as well. This squad is unique. They chase after Jesus passionately and aren’t afraid to call each other higher when we stumble. They constantly seek to see Jesus in relationships, interactions, and simple little moments. They’re always asking, “Jesus what would you have me do in this moment? What would you have me say?” Living with these people has forever changed my life because they have taught me what it means to love people around you, even when it’s so incredibly hard and all you want to do is run away. They’ve taught me about intentional pursuit of relationships with our ministry hosts, cooks, people in villages, people on the streets, people we encounter as we go about our daily lives. What it looks like to seek out the one lost sheep. The people who are normally marginalized. Everyone. They know how to be servants and care for the people all around them. They’ve also taught me how to boldly walk in the things that the Lord has called them to. Whether it’s pursuing hosting events for women’s ministry or creating a space for prayer and for a healing night to take place all together or doing corporate dance and worship, the list goes on and on. They jumped into all of these things with joy and passion. In reflecting on these last nine months, I’ve realized that God used every single one of them to represent some part of Jesus and his character to me. They showed me so much about who He is and how He loves. I will forever be changed because of the way I’ve encountered Jesus this year through this community that God gave me.
2.) He rewrote my definitions of family and the church body to be His definitions
God used the World Race to change the way I thought of family and the body of Christ. He spoke a lot into how we need to learn to love our family members first in the way that Jesus does. Then we need to learn how to function in our individual family units as a body chasing Jesus before we can walk this out within the bigger church body. While being away from my own biological family, God used my team to teach me how to love the people closest to me really well. He revealed the importance of knowing and understanding how they each function and think so that we could know how to best function all together as a team – as a family unit. We were strongest and best able to contribute to our church body – our squad – when we first learned how to love each other, listen to each other and encourage each other. Time and time again, God reminded me that the church body is strongest when family units are first functioning together in a healthy manner and are encouraging each other to lead and step out in boldness within the bigger body. God has forever changed the way I see the church and His Kingdom here on Earth because of the World Race design using teams, team times and the squad.
3.) He taught me about who I am and who I am created to be
Very recently actually, I’ve learned about just how much I struggled with identity growing up. If you don’t intimately know your Heavenly Father and Creator, who wouldn’t struggle with identity? It was never very outward, but rather a constant internal battle. I never actually knew who I was until coming on the World Race. This year God has constantly spoken into who I am and more recently, into who He created me to be. He has taught me what it means to be His Daughter. That this is the ultimate identity. If He never told me any of the other specific things, this would still be enough. Daughter. A Daughter of the Most High King. God has also revealed so many passions, desires and dreams throughout living in different countries and cultures. He gave me those things and He is intricately weaving all of these things together into my life story. Into His story of glory. It’s so crazy how our Creator gives us these passions and desires as He makes us and then fulfills them because He knows just how much we love these things. I get to rest in being His Daughter. It’s enough. No more seeking. No more putting on masks. No more trying to fit the mold of a label the world has created. Seeing sonship and daughterhood walked out by my squad leaders (& later on by my squad mates as well) has taught me what it really means to walk in the confidence and boldness of being a child of God. There’s no more striving. There’s no fear. There’s no spirit of orphanhood. He already adopted me long before I was even born.
4.) God used the Race to reveal His Holy Spirit to me and to teach me about the power and authority that comes with it
Before coming on the Race, I knew about the Holy Spirit, but I never intimately knew the Spirit for myself. I didn’t have a relationship with the Holy Spirit. But, it’s been really cool for me to look back at my life and see just how evident the Spirit has been in my life. I remember being in Sunday school and teachers telling me that all I ever had to do was ask Jesus into my heart. I remember always asking Him in every time someone would talk about it because I just wasn’t sure that He was really there. I never felt any different. But, within the last couple of times of sharing my testimony with people, the Lord has revealed that the Holy Spirit has been with me for as long as I can actually remember. The Holy Spirit has been my constant guide and redirected me when I started to stray from the path of following Jesus. I used to think that it was just my “moral compass” or that it was because of religion and because good Christian people wouldn’t do that. But, now I know that it’s been the gentle conviction of the Holy Spirit that dwells inside of me that has always guided me back home to my Father throughout my life. The Holy Spirit has been with me for the majority of my life as my guide and comforter, but I never even knew it until recent. God also used the Race to teach me more about the power and authority that comes with the Spirit. I’ve seen the power in the name of Jesus and that demons literally tremble at His name and at the cross. I’ve seen how I am constantly protected from anything that might ever try to overcome me because of the Holy Spirit inside of me. I’ve seen and experienced for myself, the physical, spiritual and emotion healing that the Spirit does to make us whole again. I’ve seen and experienced how the quiet voice of the Spirit speaks to us to confirm, encourage and uplift our brothers and sisters around us. I’ve seen how the Spirit gives us insight into what another person might be going through so we can talk to them and pray for them. I’ve felt the Holy Spirit move me to tears, wash me in peace, wipe away fear, bring about more joy. The Holy Spirit is incredible and God used the Race to teach me about this power and love that comes with the Spirit. The Holy Spirit really is our best friend and He is THE COOLEST.
5.) God used the Race as a time and space to set me free
Especially in the season before coming on the Race, I walked in a lot of fear, anger, shame and feelings of worthlessness. I was trying to find affirmation in the world and people surrounding me, but we are only humans, so of course I was never fulfilled. I constantly felt so empty. It almost felt like I came to training camp running on fumes. I was so caught up in the world, and especially in my own little world that I had created for myself. I didn’t have much regard or respect for anyone but me. I spent little quality time with anyone, especially my family. I was solely focused on me and what I thought that I needed and deserved. It was an extremely selfish and entitled mindset to be stuck in. I was so far in that I couldn’t really identify it or even when I would start to notice things, I felt helpless to free myself from them. Lies, lies and more lies that I was believing except for the last part of that statement which actually happens to be true. I wasn’t the one who could free myself. I couldn’t be the one to free myself. I can never be the one to free myself from things. It’s God. It’s always God. Coming on the Race gave me the time to step out of the worldly life that I was living. God so perfectly orchestrated my Race route and the countries I went to in order to slowly ease me out of my dependence on affirmation from friends and family. In Cambodia, I still had the ability to frequently talk to people and it was easier for me to process with and seek affirmation in them than it was for me to do these things with God. Of course time change was a real factor so I had to learn to adjust but only for about half of my day, when people at home were asleep. When we moved to Ethiopia, I had to learn to do it all just with me and God. 24/7. No WiFi. No cell service. I had to learn to process just with Him first and to let Him be the only thing that filled me up. Nicaragua and Costa Rica have been really great countries to slowly readjust to having access to talk to people, but finding the balance between sharing and also knowing to first take things and process with the Lord. So that’s what I mean by God using the Race and setting me free in my time. But God also used the space to set me free. He used this open space of having a squad culture of vulnerability and having leaders who were able to walk me through Spirit-lead inner healing to set me free of fear, anger, shame and unworthiness. He broke bondages that I wasn’t sure how to let go of because sometimes it’s easier to hold onto things that are known, even if they hurt us, than it is to walk in complete freedom. God used the time and space of the Race to set me free of hurts and fears that I had walked in my entire life until He showed me what His freedom means. And there’s always more freedom to walk in so I know that this journey doesn’t end here.
6.) He showed me what Godly men and brothers in Christ look like
This was a really big one for me and I think for all of the other women on our squad too. We will probably never fully be able to see just how much of an impact these men on our squad have had on our lives, but from what I can see right now, I know how big it is already. Coming straight from high school, I didn’t really have a very good view of guys my own age. Throughout the Race, God has redeemed how I see my male peers. He has shown me what it looks like for a man to pursue Jesus, to lead and to love the people around him. I’ve never seen so much servant love from any group of people, much less guys my own age. They are constantly seeking to serve and love the women of our squad and they desire to be good examples of Godly men. They took time to show each woman’s team what it means to be treated with love. They’re our brothers yes, but they also were an incredible example of what it means to be the bride of Christ. How He would treat us. The other day, I opened the door to my team’s bedroom to find flowers, a plate of donuts and a card from them on the ground. Such a special way to wake up and we all felt so loved. They planned dinner for all of us together. We have a cook named Xinia who cooks us dinner during the week and she makes some really great food! Normally we just eat dinner all together at tables in the living and dining room with the squad but this night they set up tables outside with flowers on the tables, lights and a wooden pallet leaned up against the wall with notes with all our names on them in the shape of a tree ( our team name is Grafted like a tree grafted together). They escorted us from our room one by one to be seated and then served us dinner. The notes were encouragements of things they’ve seen us grow in or walk in really well and they also did listening prayer and gave us some words of encouragement from the Lord. We had dinner all together and then walked to get gelato. They had decided not to go with us to the beach that weekend since a lot of them were running low on personal funds so it was that much more special when they paid for all of our gelatos. They told us that they had one more thing planned so we all walked back to the house and then had worship on the back porch and in the backyard together. They had set up a single chair in the middle of it all with a bucket in front of it. We worshiped and they washed each of our feet as we were ready. When one of them would wash our feet, the rest would come around and pray over us. I’m not really sure that many women have experienced that in their lifetime, but especially ones my age. This was one day that I can describe that sums up their servant love and desire to grow and be men of God. But they’ve lived this out and walked in it since the very beginning. They knew they had an opportunity to be Jesus to us in a way that most of us hadn’t experienced and they honored us all so well. They’ve brought so much redemption to how I viewed guys my age. I now know what it should look like to have brothers in Christ and eventually a husband one day because of this example that I’ve gotten to witness over the last nine months. I’m so grateful to each of them. I’m also so grateful to Luis for being my squad leader. Growing up in very liberal Boulder, I really struggled with the idea of how Biblically, men are supposed to be the head of the house and leaders of the church body. God knew that I needed to see strong male leadership and the benefit to it before I would ever be able to understand how God designed marriage and families to be. Luis has led the men and our entire squad so well. I was so blessed to be able to learn from him over these last nine months. He lives radically for Jesus and is a constant reminder of Jesus’ love. I’ve learned so much from him just in how he lives his life for Jesus. He’s shared so much wisdom and brought so much perspective to my life. So grateful for all of my brothers.
God used the World Race to change my life in really big ways. I know that He could’ve taught me these things in many different ways but I’m so glad that He picked the Race and these people to show me these new things. I’ve learned so much and I’m sad to say goodbye to this season, but this is just the beginning of life to the full with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. And I know that I’ll see these brothers and sisters again one day.
-Elena
